Symptoms

She just left for Australia 12 hours ago and the symptoms are kicking in. I feel emptiness, lonliness, the inability to take care of myself. It's the feeling you get when you end up in a different class from your best friend in primary school. You don't know who you can rely on, you wish you could have a change of class, you wonder if you'll stay best friends, whether you'll make new ones, whether you'll fit in, whether either of you will change, whether you'll be remembered, whether you'll stay sane, who will hold your hand when you line up in twos and whether the new bloody chinese teacher will scold you if you can't do your bloody chinese homework. She's going to study there for 2 yrs. If God permits, she'll do her honours, 2 yrs of working, followed by masters. And if she's still not sick of studying, a doctorate... although i'm not really sure what girls are gonna do with a masters degree... let alone a PhD.. In my opinion, after marriage, they're supposed to be homemakers in the morning, loyal supporters of Days Of Our Lives in the afternoon and shoppers in the evenings. If they wanna get a job, fine... nobody should complain about extra income... but once there's a kid in the picture, she should quit and devote herself to raising him. Then the degrees would have been a waste... unless she doesn't mind freelance work at home... You study for 27+ yrs of your life and then work for a couple of yrs before you get a kid... NOT a good investment... They should just quit after the bach deg or even the Os... can't skip sec sch... can't skip the home econs... vital for women and guys who are gonna stay single their whole life...

Don't know what i'm gonna do now. Got a grad ceremony tmr and plan on wearing something new for the occasion. But with my shopping companion thousands of miles away, what am i to do... The situation sucks. The thought of entering the army in less than 2 mnths time sucks just as bad... I know how important it is and all... the military training... the exercising... the adaption to new types of 'food'... but naturally, i don't want any of it... who wants to get shouted at at the break of dawn? I got enough of that from bloody chinese teachers... who wants to mix with ah bengs who smoke more than they breathe and have a wider vocab of hokkien curses at their disposal than of the english language... The 20 click marchers shouldn't bother me much... shopping along orchard road on a daily basis has prepared me for that...

Gonna miss her so much. Heart aches whenever i think bout it... Gonna be so bored now too... Can't believe i'm actually looking forward to school after NS... when all this will be over... her whole family will have probly immigrated there by then... i'd visit once in awhile... but then at least i'd have something back here to keep me busy... and stressed bout... from now till NS, i'll try to stay sane... at least i've still got my niv, mp3, mtv, cpu and tft... and her sms... got to prepare for sat's cg... Communication's the topic.... not sure if i'm up to it... once again wishing my best friend were here to help me with it...